Not long before, while Willis was at a mainstream school in Woking, Surrey, he had an operation on his hamstrings – little bows tied around the tendons to enable more movement and help him walk unaided."It was at the London boat show, in an office building. "They were in tears."For a short period in secondary school, Willis started using a wheelchair rather than the frame."My physiotherapist took me to one side and said, 'You can use this and your legs can deteriorate because of the lack of movement, or you can get back to using your walking frame.'" He took the doctor's advice. He started attending an LGBT youth group and embarked on a relationship with another guy.At 17, he felt able to talk about his sexuality."I came out first as bisexual and thought, No I'm probably, definitely gay, and then later thought, Hang on, no, the bisexual label fits.Another man on Grindr sent the following message: "Oh my god, I've never slept with a bisexual person before! "In day-to-day life," he says, "bisexuality is invisible, so one side of my identity is invisible – although often hyper-sexualised – and on the other side there is this very visible physical disability, but disabled people are desexualised." Willis works at an organisation for people with disabilities, and walks with a stick.
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'' And I said, 'No, mum,' and she replied, 'OK, fair enough.'" And that was that.
"Personally, the experiences I've had coming out have been very positive," he says.
'"Willis, 24, laughs and then scoffs – a snort of derision.
I'm too hot to even talk to you."A few days before National Coming Out Day, he has invited Buzz Feed News to his flat in Brighton to discuss the routine idiocy he faces from strangers, dates and even partners. There's nothing different about the way I sleep with people."For Willis, attitudes towards both bisexuality and disability collide in such a way as to create a complex backdrop for coming out, sex and dating.
The fact I'm disabled doesn't mean I can't also be a fucking arsehole sometimes." Wider acts of societal caregiving – the kind that is needed and wanted – however, are under threat, he says.