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While I may flirt or develop friendships with other Black gay men, I’ve never seriously pursued a relationship with one.

When I’m on Tinder, the men I’m more likely to swipe right are usually athletic white men between 21 and 30.

And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag.

Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.

But when I discussed my issue with friends, other queer men of color, they all said I have a type: white men.

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