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Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands.

Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite.

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Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs.

Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.” Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision.

They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers.

Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages.

I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives.