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Then one day, you find yourself lying by the resort pool in his waterfront building, half-drunk at noon and wondering where your kid is. Single Mom Souvenir: You walk away from this one with a higher standard for chivalry and a lower standard for being "cultured." You need a guy who can laugh at a fart joke -- or hell, come up with one on his own. The Divorced Dad At first it seems the two of you have much in common.

You're both single working parents who love films and food -- what are the chances?

Recognized by experienced moms as the universal signal that he can't commit to anything, you decide instead to write it off as "hipster." While he's chatting with you at an out-of-the-way cafe he has texts flying in from ladies just like you in multiple parts of the country (he's a midnight Internet surfer, after all).

When he confesses he's moving to Oregon to live with a molecular gastronomist he fell in love with via email, you're more devastated than when you got divorced. The Smart and Sweet Rebound When the douchebag leaves you heartbroken and addicted to drive-thru meals, you find solace in -- gulp -- his best friend, an aspiring poet who makes a living writing book jacket copy.

In Finding the One Online, I give you 7 hours of audio, a 180 page transcript, a 35 page workbook – and tips on everything from choosing the right site, to writing a compelling online dating profile, to taking the right photos, to flirting effectively via email so that every single person will want to meet you in person. What’s the most memorable username you’ve ever seen on a dating site?