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Klinger barely escaped with his purity still clean and in the process, ruining his finest frockery. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. I had the guts to go out there and drag 'em back to the aid station. The hell with your Iowa naivete, and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear, and while you're at it, the hell with you! In mere moments, I embark on a military mission which may mark my final hours on this planet.

Radar: (walking very slowly into the OR, shortly after Blake's departure) I have a message: Lt. The sergeant bragadeered to Corporal Klinger that capturing prisoners meant points toward discharge and early homeward bounding. The vainglorious corporal ran like a bird and sped off in quest of Chinese giver-uppers. The Chinese had not seen women in an overexcited period of time. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder, if possible without going crazy. I must admit wine does make me a little crazy but I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle." Oh this is a sick woman. Charles: (dictating his will into his tape recorder) The morning air is crisp and still.

I wouldn't want to lead a company of Pierces into battle, but I sure as hell would want him around after that battle was over! My apologies to those among us of the feminine gland and to our resident celibate, Father Mulcahy. One, this is going to teach us all a new heart procedure. And, I don't mind telling, you my first few days in his shadow were a mite uneasy. The point is, the folks here gave me the time to take this job and make it Sherman Potter's.

Now you get out of that froufrou and into a uniform. I have no doubt that Captain Pierce is a prankster and thoroughly non-military, but the records prove him to be a top-flight surgeon. (takes a deep breath) How could anyone look on that and not feel changed? You people have been panicking over a rumor which says that the 4077th is bugging out. You service people should know by now that scuttlebutt is as common as cooties in your skivvies! That didn't make me any better or worse, just different.

Charles: Well, Father, I'm afraid you don't understand.